Thoughts of a 20 year old child💭

 Earlier today, A friend of mine asked me if i wanted to get married and I told her this : “No... Being emotionally invested in someone is a huge risk. Men will make you feel shitty about yourself, Make you hate yourself, Make you think that something is really wrong with you. Then boom! You actually believe that you incapable of getting loved the way you want, you feel scared because you feel you are asking for too much, Then you feel you  should fix yourself until you don't recognize yourself anymore. I love love but i don't want to get married. Im not ready to deal with uncertainty and anxiety and dull ache in my chest. I don't even have what it takes to be emotionally invested in someone, I will just be scared. Its exhausting!.   With someone you care about, you actually meant to be at ease but every time I'm at panic mode, trying to save my head and my feelings, trying so hard not to get hurt. So, no I no dey reason marriage”. Sha my mom shouldn’t see this because ...

“ For one to love another, He must first love himself” In all honesty, I’ve never really understood this statement, i’ve never really understood how loving one’s self affects the way you love another person( or maybe i understand but i’m clueless, i no sabi sha🤷🏼‍♀️). To a lot, self love could mean a lot of things, To A, it could be putting yourself before others and To Y, it could simply mean “yes, on this day, i want to be selfish” and to some of my friends, it could just be saying no to people( which i really need to learn, omo!).  At times, I do find myself in situations which made me think “oh! If only i loved myself a little bit more, this wouldn’t have happened” and also in situations which made me realize that truly i do really should learn how to put myself first. So I'm going to narrate one of those situations/scenarios. Okayyy........ one time, when i was in school( I’m still a student sha), during my exams, there was this course I had not read properly and I have this...

“Las las, e don cast, Na everybody go chop breakfast 😂” NB: I’m not writing this from a place of personal sentimen, lol, maybe I am but anyhow sha. So, apparently (I don’t know if this English correct), everyone don chop breakfast. Either you were served or na you serve( anyways, all of us.na X-men, ifykyk) Talking from experience, breakfast isn’t one of my favorite things to experience, it isn’t anyone’s favorite thing (unless na you serve am, yes, you wicked person 😂😂). Honestly, I feel it’s a phase we all dread, Lowkey expect but dread because to an extent we’re all scared of that pain, that heaviness in our chest and that tears that never seems to end but the thing is that e go reach you my guy. As y’all know, I’m a lover girl and I really love love, call me the brand ambassador of the concept, love but omo the whole love thing hasn’t been nice to me and I don chop breakfast wey pass my power( inserts crying emoji). Soooo, I’m going to share a personal breakfast story and how I ...

“   A woman becomes emotionally invested in the man that she has sex with and is physically intimate with-unless she’s a prostitute and has learnt to detach herself.”  I totally agree with this statement because I am woman and woman is me and this applies to most women out there(unless, you’re doing whoocup or you got an A + in a detachment course, no offense though). Now the thing is; why is it this way? Why we women? Why can’t men in general be emotionally invested in a woman they are intimate with? And why can’t we ladies be like “ yeah, i fucked him and I don’t feel a thing” or “Nah, it was just casual sex to me”. Why do we have to put our emotions the moment we become all physical with a man and once the whole thing ends, the sex is more like a loss to us? (So many whys here though 😂)  My best friend, (whom I intend to keep anonymous but let’s call her “S”, yes S would do) said to me, that to men, sex is casual, the rate of them being emotionally attached is quite l...

 Okay, (breathes in and out😂). Apparently, this is meant to be an introduction yeahhh? Let me get to it. I’m Jessica, I’m 20(I don’t look it though). I’m a law student in Abuja (it’s quite exhausting yunno.). And I’m starting a blog to find a sense of purpose because the self discovery thingy is exhausting than I thought it will be. Oh well. At an age, where I’m trying to figure things out, trying to figure myself out and I’m feeling too much. This should be an outlet for me to pen(or type??) down my thoughts and maybe see things through another perspective (oh yeah, this is where y’all comments and opinions comes in😮‍💨). Oh well, eventually we’d get all this figured out. I’ll try my very best to drop something everyday and i hope that you drop your opinions and all because it’ll really go a long way. Gracias ☺️. So, let’s make this an interesting journey. Shouldn’t we?