“ For one to love another, He must first love himself”
In all honesty, I’ve never really understood this statement, i’ve never really understood how loving one’s self affects the way you love another person( or maybe i understand but i’m clueless, i no sabi sha🤷🏼♀️).
To a lot, self love could mean a lot of things, To A, it could be putting yourself before others and To Y, it could simply mean “yes, on this day, i want to be selfish” and to some of my friends, it could just be saying no to people( which i really need to learn, omo!). At times, I do find myself in situations which made me think “oh! If only i loved myself a little bit more, this wouldn’t have happened” and also in situations which made me realize that truly i do really should learn how to put myself first. So I'm going to narrate one of those situations/scenarios.
Okayyy........ one time, when i was in school( I’m still a student sha), during my exams, there was this course I had not read properly and I have this friend/ semi plug i have never sat near during exams😭, most times i do use his notes to read well because I am too lazy to make mine and textbooks???? Nahh too much work. So on this particular night, i went to where he was reading to collect his notes as usual and small tutorials(and mind you, this boy must have finished his course outline ohh!) So i asked for his notes to read and he says NO!, N...O!. In my mind, i’m like oga wants extra please and i pleaded and the answer is still the same. So I left angrily and expected him to come apologize the next day, omo 3 days pass, i no hear sorry. Even till today😪( i still feel i deserve an apology😂)
Eventually, I realized two things:
1) That I got mad at my friend because if roles were reversed, i would have given him my notes not minding if i still needed it. The most important thing is that my friend’s needs was met ba?? And i’ll be the nice one?
2)In order to survive most situations, i have to put myself first no matter what.
So, in essence, to water another person, your cup must be full for that to happen and i have been in cases where my cup wasn’t even half full to water another person.
So, what exactly is self love to you? What does it mean? What you make you think “Ahaa! I love myself sufficently to love another”? Someone told me that self love is doing for yourself what you would do for another and it did make sense to me. That 5k you would give another person, why don’t use it for yourself instead? In reality to figure somethings out, you really must love yourself( thats what most websites on self development says too😁)
- So what exactly would you say self love is?
- Have you ever been in a situation that made you realize you didn’t love yourself a lot?
- For those of you that have mastered the art of self love, keep it up, I’m proud.For those of us, still learning, we will get there I promise❤️
Comments
Self love is necessary above all :)
Nice piece ♥️
Sadly a lot of people have forgotten what it feels like to love themselves. Self love have been mistaken for selfishness, selfish people parading themselves saying they're romanticizing their lives. If there is one thing love isn't, it's that love is selfless, it is kind and isn't prideful. So let us draw a line between where self love ends and where selfishness begins
Self-love is putting yourself first and at the same time considering other people WHILE on the other hand selfishness is doing everything to please yourself and not caring how other people feel
Self-love is nice… it’s you taking care of yourself (as you should!) it’s you being kind and gentle and cheerful
It’s not you being greedy wanting everything under the sun for yourself and hurting everyone in your way
If your friend had said “hey I still need to cover somethings I’m not sure I can give you my note” and perhaps try to proffer a solution “you can take pictures of them and skim through with your phone” now that’s him putting his feelings first and at the same time being considerate of you. Not just saying NO. As humans most times we don’t know where to draw the line. We just act without fore-thinking. Love yourself and put yourself first darling but don’t be selfish and greedy while at it.
That’s a beautiful piece right there my love🤌🏾❤️
Just as she said there’s a very thin line between Self-love and selfishness
Now what your course mate did was it really self-love or selfishness???
Well I don’t want to judge
But let me elaborate rather on this statement… “ your cup should be full before you water another person”.
Now look at it in this perspective, I believe you have people around that can help you with various things even if your cup is not full you can hold up for some weeks or even a month, and then you come across someone that needs just a drop, cause your cup isn’t full does it mean you won’t help???? By doing such your drifting, it’s no longer self-love but selfishness.��
It’s not wrong to put yourself first but you should also have people in mind as well
Mind you, what goes around comes back around ✌️
You’re doing well Bumblebee ��
The article is really good especially the way you explain your experience in text form. We hope to see more of this. Keep it up!
Not all people will celebrate you until your wins feel big enough to them, but you can celebrate yourself now, you can be proud of every little step and progress you make. There's nothing wrong in taking an unconventional path,there's nothing wrong in moving at your own pace, there's nothing wrong in choosing what's best for you, even if it's unpopular.
A Gentle reminder: You don't have to be the bigger person Lol, you don't have to accept insincere apologies, you don't have to tolerate friendship and relationship that will drain you, you don't have to show up for people who have no interest or intentions in showing up for you.
Love yourself today and everyday. Just Chill.!!
Damn I've said alot LMAO 😂
From Nneoma's desk