Skip to main content

SHOULD KNACK BE KNACK OR A SNACK?

 A woman becomes emotionally invested in the man that she has sex with and is physically intimate with-unless she’s a prostitute and has learnt to detach herself.”

 I totally agree with this statement because I am woman and woman is me and this applies to most women out there(unless, you’re doing whoocup or you got an A + in a detachment course, no offense though). Now the thing is; why is it this way? Why we women? Why can’t men in general be emotionally invested in a woman they are intimate with? And why can’t we ladies be like “ yeah, i fucked him and I don’t feel a thing” or “Nah, it was just casual sex to me”. Why do we have to put our emotions the moment we become all physical with a man and once the whole thing ends, the sex is more like a loss to us? (So many whys here though 😂)

 My best friend, (whom I intend to keep anonymous but let’s call her “S”, yes S would do) said to me, that to men, sex is casual, the rate of them being emotionally attached is quite low but we ladies don’t see sex as casual, rather we see it from an emotional perspective and get attached easily (which at the end, fucks us up, sighs😮‍💨). 

Well, to be honest, I’ve never ever ever heard a guy talking about sex being something emotional to him;(nope, not even one). Nah, it’s all about the gain and the fun- maybe, I could safely say that sex is all funs and games to the male gender, because even though a breakup do happen, it’s like the sex was a gain(like sha sha, at least we knacked🤷). This mindset affects the women in the sense that them/we/(maybe me.lol) attaching their emotions is downright stupid (inserts SMH emoji).

Okayy, quick story time. So there was this dude on my case, bro has a girl, he hit me up one day and was like “yo, come over to my place and let’s vibe”(is that what you guys/men call it now, vibe? 😂). He hit me up continuously and I’m like “Bruh, I’m not interested” (apparently i have a boo, and even if I didn’t have one, I wouldn’t still want to “vibe” with this guy). So skipping to the good part, I eventually found out what our dude wanted was to smash and pass, (like fr!!). It was real funny because I wasn’t really interested from the onset(this bird doesn’t fly that way bro). So the point is that looking at this from the alternative angle, if I had agreed to vibe and eventually got laid, obviously, I’d the one hurting and I’ll be an added gain or conquest to him. (Omo, My God loves me sha).

So the big question is that should knacks the knack( like strictly casual) or should it be a snack that you need to take your time on every piece to discover something new, thrilling and unique about each bite(in plain English, should it be more???). 

And also should ladies be comfortable with having casual sex without being slut-shamed (slut-shaming-another topic for another day)? Or is it safe for their emotions to be invested in any person they’re being intimate with?

Anddd, is it also safe to say there are men out there who believe that sex isn’t all fun and games and it’s something sacred and emotional? (Talk oh!!, nobody will beat you😂)or is it just all fun and games?

-> So please, if you have any opposing views, personal experience or story or contributions, the comments section is wide open and I’d love to see how you feel about this topic, after all “it’s mine and our thoughts”. Any and every view is welcomed(and also, I really don’t want to see this in one perspective 😊)

                                   Gracias❤️.

Comments

Nichole said…
It’s because of the patriarchy and how it has shaped our lives and thinking
A lot of men just see women solely as objects for sexual pleasure
While we women are trained to see men as the final prize for being a good marriageable woman.
And yes, women shouldn’t be slut shamed for being openly sexual, they are as human as the men that are openly sexual��
BIG S! said…
I think women should feel free to be openly sexual, if you're open to it and well if not, understand that the guy wasn't the only one who gained because you wouldn't be doing it if you don't enjoy it. And I feel like if you're female in Nigeria you should welcome being called a slut because no matter what you do , you'd be called one. So just live your life to the fullest and don't send anyone's daddy!
Anonymous said…
Honestly speaking I don't think knack should be just knack(why am I using this word sef) Sex should be wild, raw, animalistic love making not something you just do and forget about like how in the world do people get intimate without no feelings....Omooo una dey try Sha sex shouldn't be just sex if you feel nothing for the person then to hell with it 🌚🌚
How do you moan, groan and scream the person's name without no emotion🤲😩😩 ladies should be allowed to explore cuz why do ladies always have to bear the brunt 🥺🤲
Anonymous said…
Let's break this down.
A guy is bold enough to make the first move and tell a girl he wants to get her laid.
Girls can't they'll be slut shamed like you said.
Point being men are more openly sexual than woman cus of society.
For a woman to sleep with you, she'll have to like you or gain something.
It's kinda hard to see a woman sleep with someone she's not into or emotionally attached to.
SO If you were into that guy in the story regardless of the fact that you guys are dating different people y'all still smash,not even once.
Anonymous said…
To be honest it is always going to be what it is, knacks or whatever it's called this days would always be that whether feelings are attached or not.

As a young lady you should be able to know what's your cup of tea and stick to it. And one more thing it makes it easier when you know how to differentiate a real man from a boy.honestly that's my 2 cents.
Anonymous said…
It is what it is
Unknown said…
It will always mean different things to different people, lolz. You cannot force a person to become attached😅. It hurts I know, but omo, the best thing is to shake off the dust and walk away.

The truth is, once you find someone you love, it won't just be "hit and run"(from the guy). I've seen guys become emotionally attached to a lady who has little or no interest in them. So I'm sure it's safe to say 'it's both genders.

I love this! More inspiratiooonnnn.
Anonymous said…
Honestly speaking I don't think knack should be just knack... Sex should be wild, raw, animalistic love making not something for fun or pleasure but to us or some boys it’s something we do for pleasure and fun. And it shouldn’t be that way but in these era I don’t think anything can change that mentality for boys. Just saying tho
The girl has no name. said…
In as much much as knacks is knacks for men I still feel it's not all men and with the ladies, not all of them get attached but then ladies should try and tap into the masculine energy and try not to add any emotional connection to sex especially if the relationship or situation isn't defined....
Unknown said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Çârlîslê said…
This is really a sensitive topic. Most people (guys especially),take sex as something fun, something like a game,but honestly,it shldnt be so. Me for instance,am a guy,and I can't have sex with someone am not emotionally attached to. The reason some people still take sex as game is simply because dey don't understand d meaning of sex. For me,sex isn't something u just do for fun. Am not against any guy dat wants to take sex as something fun,but I probably wouldn't advice one to do so,cuz I know I won't. Same goes for gals,if a gal can decide on her own dat she wants sex to be something casual,dats her decision. It's not so bad,and being emotionally attached to anyone she has sex with isn't good either,cuz she will definitely end up being broken.
I really love d topic. I have always wanted to talk about this. It's been causing so many problems for people (gals mostly). For me,knack shldnt just be knack.
Unknown said…
Actually sex should be what both parties agreed on it to be, if both parties wants it to be a knack then soo shall it be (girls need to understand this) but if it should be Snack then both parties need to understand nd stays on thier Words (most especially Boys)
Unknown said…
For me, I'm a guy and I must say sex is actually a sacred thing to me . So I might be that guy you've never found😂. I have been involved in series and when I say series , I mean alot of series of foreplay but sex is something I'm not ready for.For me, I can say that Men are like microwaves.
Unknown said…
Personally I think its left for the two parties to agree on what to call it. Problems come up when for example when one party(mostly gals) get emotionally attached where as what the other party(mostly guys) is interested in is having sex(knacking as you said).
Rio said…
This is a really sensitive topic though.... I remember a guy I vibe with asking to be friends with benefits and I declined.. told him I can't since I don't have that romantic feeling towards him and he just laughed saying "ohh... That's why you girls get hurt after the whole deed" and it somehow made me cautious on how much emotions I should invest even in a relationship where the guy actually likes me
It's just fucked up
Let me not even go into the spiritual aspect...lol
Anonymous said…
Yen yen yen
Never take life too serious
(-¡-)
Doncharsy said…
Here for the comments...
Anonymous said…
Knack is not just Knack. Unless you're heartless or don't care about who you're knacking with.
Let's be honest with ourselves, no matter how emotional strong you are as a lady, if a guy has sex with you (consently) and ghosts you the next day. You'll be heartbroken. Unless you're not a human being. Or you do whoocup? Just saying🎤
Anonymous said…
Well, I feel when it comes to sex. Both genders enjoy it and it should be a ritualistic issue. It is something emotional. Both persons should know that the act of sexual intercourse is in itself an intimate one. So, knack is just not knack. It is something deep and should not just be toyed with.
Unknown said…
To be honest, we should try not to get attached to a guy just because we got laid by them. It’ll save you from a lot.
Most people can’t fvck a guy they’re not attached to, but it’s a different case for the guys. So before you get down with a guy ask yourself these questions; am I ready for any emotion rollercoaster that may come with this? And What exactly does this guy want from me? Is he genuine?
Learn to use them for their bodiessssss!

Popular posts from this blog

MY PERSONAL NAVIGATION THROUGH “BREAKFAST “

“Las las, e don cast, Na everybody go chop breakfast 😂” NB: I’m not writing this from a place of personal sentimen, lol, maybe I am but anyhow sha. So, apparently (I don’t know if this English correct), everyone don chop breakfast. Either you were served or na you serve( anyways, all of us.na X-men, ifykyk) Talking from experience, breakfast isn’t one of my favorite things to experience, it isn’t anyone’s favorite thing (unless na you serve am, yes, you wicked person 😂😂). Honestly, I feel it’s a phase we all dread, Lowkey expect but dread because to an extent we’re all scared of that pain, that heaviness in our chest and that tears that never seems to end but the thing is that e go reach you my guy. As y’all know, I’m a lover girl and I really love love, call me the brand ambassador of the concept, love but omo the whole love thing hasn’t been nice to me and I don chop breakfast wey pass my power( inserts crying emoji). Soooo, I’m going to share a personal breakfast story and how I ...

Intro???

 Okay, (breathes in and out😂). Apparently, this is meant to be an introduction yeahhh? Let me get to it. I’m Jessica, I’m 20(I don’t look it though). I’m a law student in Abuja (it’s quite exhausting yunno.). And I’m starting a blog to find a sense of purpose because the self discovery thingy is exhausting than I thought it will be. Oh well. At an age, where I’m trying to figure things out, trying to figure myself out and I’m feeling too much. This should be an outlet for me to pen(or type??) down my thoughts and maybe see things through another perspective (oh yeah, this is where y’all comments and opinions comes in😮‍💨). Oh well, eventually we’d get all this figured out. I’ll try my very best to drop something everyday and i hope that you drop your opinions and all because it’ll really go a long way. Gracias ☺️. So, let’s make this an interesting journey. Shouldn’t we?